Well,

Some days I just feel like I can't wait to get off this rock. School has its ups and downs to say the least. It's crazy, teenagers have a way of making you feel like your the lowliest piece of shit one day, and the ing of the world the next. My school is like a society in itself. With all the drama, scrutiny, upset and plain outlandishness only Young Adults can bring.

And they can be cruel. What with all the hormones and stress and sexual tension flying around, its no wonder really people get so wrapped up in their own pathetic beliefs. Hell, what am I doing now, if not shitting all over everything and everyone in that in my belief I am somehow above them, complaining about them in an online journal no one will ever read. But tomorrow, or maybe the next day, it will all be just peachy again. Thats another thing about the youth of today, they always fucing change their minds about everything. I do it too. Two years ago I wanted to be a rockstar. Then I realised this rebellion crap was getting me in deep shit, and I Changed My Ways. I became mummy and daddys special little girl, and took up science. I wanted to be a doctor, to change the world. Now, well, I don't want to be a doctor. I want to be a writer, change the world through word of mouth, or something. Honestly, I just like English, I always have. Maybe I'll stick with this one.

I just feel like such an outsider. I don't quite fit in, I don't quite 'get' the crazy pressures and expectations we're supposed to succomb to, because queen bitch says so. Social rules are wacko. Flirting, bitching, gossiping, making/breaking friends, I mean, what the hell?
I know honesty, but for some reason thats not all there is. You have to be able to play the game, whatever the hell that means.

Today in MEP we were given a list of jobs, and a load of photos of people. We were supposed to match up the people with what jobs we thought they did. Yeah so I pretty much refused to do it. I mean, how am I supposed to know what jobs people do, and more importantly, why should I care? Sure, we're supposed to say the shady black guy was the drug dealer, and it turns out hes the nurse. The blonde woman is the professional wrestler, didn't you know? Then we get all the shit down our throats about not judging people and assuming stuff and blah de blah. The class listens with serious faces then goes out and bullies the indian/fat/spotty kid. Whats the point? The only people who listen are the people who don't judge people, and the onyl reason those people don't judge, is because so many wrong assumptions are made about them. Believe me, I know.

Some days I lose faith completely in human beings. But don't worry, tomorrow is a new day, and I'll come in, staggering a little under the weight of my coursework, and write you all an uplifting journal entry to munch on. Probably.

What can I say? This is teenage angst, refined, reformed and out with a vengeance.

Alice